this is a test of the emergency blogcast station....
had this been an actual emergency...you would have been notified accordingly...
as it stands...this blogspot exists solely for the purpose of providings Mia's Blog Addicts Anonymous a spot to get their blog fix on...
tune in next week for actual blog topics...
i ain't mia...but i will give you guys somewhere to alleviate your blog jones while she is out...
happy blogging....
we now returned to your regularly scheduled programming...
7.30.2004
7.08.2004
mo money...mo problems...
nick has been there for me w/ no questions since we have been together...especially with the situation w/ my truck....
and...i have helped him out...a twenty a couple of times to get him to payday...and i let him borrow $100 to get two tires put on his car after we realized that wires were showing on two of those puppies...for me...it's been no big deal...it's just how you do when you are in a relationship...
he and i used to make around the same amount...at my new job...i make about $15,000 more than he does...and i think that is causing him problems...
last night...he tells me that he's become too dependent on me...i'm like "what are you talking about? dependent in what way?"...he's like..."you know, for money and shit."...i'm like..."what does that mean?"....he says that he just needs some time to work on himself and make sure that this (meaning us) is what he wants right now....
strangely...i'm okay with that...maybe b/c i have to be...but whatever...i'm okay with it...my life doesn't stop...i'll continue doing ME...maybe...i should look into reviving my rotation....
and...i have helped him out...a twenty a couple of times to get him to payday...and i let him borrow $100 to get two tires put on his car after we realized that wires were showing on two of those puppies...for me...it's been no big deal...it's just how you do when you are in a relationship...
he and i used to make around the same amount...at my new job...i make about $15,000 more than he does...and i think that is causing him problems...
last night...he tells me that he's become too dependent on me...i'm like "what are you talking about? dependent in what way?"...he's like..."you know, for money and shit."...i'm like..."what does that mean?"....he says that he just needs some time to work on himself and make sure that this (meaning us) is what he wants right now....
strangely...i'm okay with that...maybe b/c i have to be...but whatever...i'm okay with it...my life doesn't stop...i'll continue doing ME...maybe...i should look into reviving my rotation....
7.07.2004
do i need an aa mtg?
ok...so...we all know my proverbial shit hit the fan on Friday afternoon...
if u were out...read back....get caught up...
a select few of my bfam were on hand for my rage...and subsequent meltdown after drinking a half a bottle of red, red wine on friday night....complete w/ drunken dancing, crying, calling my mother at 200am, passing out in the middle of my living room floor, throwing up and being carried to bed....
i MUST say here...thanks guys for being there...
i will also say....that it will probably be another 12 years before i drink again....
saturday morning...i woke up...amazingly not hung over...just feeling a little blah...i decided to check my email and had a response from a message that i had sent to a good friend who is currently stationed in iraq....and i got to thinking and remembering....some of the emails that I had been sending to ron...i went to my sent messages and below is the example of one that i found...
From: "CSmith"
Subject: RE: E-Card from Ronnie
To: "Ron W"
actually...i hadn't been looking for anything else...i know...stupidity on my part...i was really counting on this to come through...but hey....it still could...however...i am now on the grind working to make some other things happen....i'll keep u posted....
just so u know....if u were to ask...at some point...i would say yes....no hesitation....
take note of the last bolded line....in comparing nick's email to mine...mine reads just as horribly as his...
my mother told me that i am so determined not to take any bullshit off any n**ga that i have a tendency to run at the first sign of trouble...she told me that if i continued to do that i would always be running from man to man to man....
i need to learn that men are human and are imperfect just as i am...that i need to allow nick that room to not get it right sometimes...and when he makes an error....allow him the oppty to show me that this relationship is something that he really wants....and then IF...he fails in that...that's when i make a move...
i like my mother's advice...maybe b/c emotionally, i'm not ready to walk away from the relationship....maybe b/c i am a glutton for punishment...
who knows?...
but i do like my mother's advice...but then too...i do have to keep in mind that this is advice coming from one who is married to a drug addict....an educated, intelligent, well-spoken, sometimes extremely caring individual who i even get along w/ sometimes...but a drug addict nonetheless....
is nothing in life simple?
if u were out...read back....get caught up...
a select few of my bfam were on hand for my rage...and subsequent meltdown after drinking a half a bottle of red, red wine on friday night....complete w/ drunken dancing, crying, calling my mother at 200am, passing out in the middle of my living room floor, throwing up and being carried to bed....
i MUST say here...thanks guys for being there...
i will also say....that it will probably be another 12 years before i drink again....
saturday morning...i woke up...amazingly not hung over...just feeling a little blah...i decided to check my email and had a response from a message that i had sent to a good friend who is currently stationed in iraq....and i got to thinking and remembering....some of the emails that I had been sending to ron...i went to my sent messages and below is the example of one that i found...
From: "CSmith"
Subject: RE: E-Card from Ronnie
To: "Ron W"
actually...i hadn't been looking for anything else...i know...stupidity on my part...i was really counting on this to come through...but hey....it still could...however...i am now on the grind working to make some other things happen....i'll keep u posted....
just so u know....if u were to ask...at some point...i would say yes....no hesitation....
take note of the last bolded line....in comparing nick's email to mine...mine reads just as horribly as his...
my mother told me that i am so determined not to take any bullshit off any n**ga that i have a tendency to run at the first sign of trouble...she told me that if i continued to do that i would always be running from man to man to man....
i need to learn that men are human and are imperfect just as i am...that i need to allow nick that room to not get it right sometimes...and when he makes an error....allow him the oppty to show me that this relationship is something that he really wants....and then IF...he fails in that...that's when i make a move...
i like my mother's advice...maybe b/c emotionally, i'm not ready to walk away from the relationship....maybe b/c i am a glutton for punishment...
who knows?...
but i do like my mother's advice...but then too...i do have to keep in mind that this is advice coming from one who is married to a drug addict....an educated, intelligent, well-spoken, sometimes extremely caring individual who i even get along w/ sometimes...but a drug addict nonetheless....
is nothing in life simple?
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