I have a friendship that is changing...and at first, it kind of bothered me. But now, I realize, not so much.
This friend has expressed some resentment for the fact that I have not been as available on the phone and to hang out. She said something about "knowing how you are - when you meet someone you get all wrapped up in them."
I haven't bothered to point out that TheDude and I have been dating for two years. I saw no value in trying to make her understand that this has been a time of transition and upheaval in my life requiring focus and the need to adjust to a new normal. I didn't try to explain that if I don't make setting a firm foundation for my relationship a priority right now, it will cause problems in my marriage down the line.
I really don't get folks that don't understand that different stages of your life require different things. I no longer have an interest in trying to juggle EVERYthing. I have determined that there are a few things that I want to do well.
She tried to make me feel like my life was out of balance because I don't make time for chitchat on the phone every damn day anymore. Also, my money priorities have changed and I'm not running out for dinner and drinks and movies every weekend anymore.
I am okay with the choices that I am making concerning my life right now.
Too many relationships fail because the parties involved don't know how to make those relationships a priority. I don't have to be all things to all the people in my life.
I don't have the energy for all that.
And initially, I considered that it may be a question of friendship. However, the more that I think on it, I really believe that is a lack of understanding of the concept of "cleaving."
"M. is my best friend now. Not you. And I need you to be okay with that. Seriously."
