hurricane kat...

how do i not say anything about its devastation?

what do i say?

i pray for the survivors...



and the idiots...



god bless them all...

officially boycotting the meme...

yep...i know i got tagged...think i've been tagged at least three or four times so far...beloved, icey, serenity and i'm sure there's someone else...it just takes too much effort to remember who...

and nope...i haven't responded...

officially...i'm boycotting or at least...resisting the meme...

even though...it's obvious i've been giving it some thought...because IF you happened to have been following the slow tortuous stroll through the streets of my inner mind lately...you've seen reference to my wonderful character, mimi and of course, sybil's point by point assassination of her attempt to be happy in love...

as it stands...meme's...like threesomes...seem like too much work...

and we all know...i'm an old lazy bee-otchee...i just want to lie down and be served...

a proposal...

warrick...will you marry me?





naw...i'm just playing.

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unless you gone do it...

save the date...

something MAJOR happened in my life on this date...i'm not ready to blog about it...i just wanted to make note that it happened...

maybe i'll come back to it...
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or not...

hold....up...mimi...wait!!!!!

NOTE: It occurred to me that this post makes more sense...if it makes ANY sense...if you scroll down and read the one before it "Saturday Night" - FIRST.

Sybil is ranting!!!

mi....mi.....you mean to tell me that you stand in front of a room full of STRANGERS and pour out your ALL YOUR LOVE and this billy dee wanna be a$$ negro comes all up in yo 15 minutes of fame...not offering you a real future...but some lame a$$ movie moment??!?!?!!?

GTFOH!!!!

for real...

you have poured every ounce of your being into letting the world...or at least the 165 people at 255 Courtland know that you love this man...and the best he can come up with is..."I can't make you no promises."

see...that's what's wrong with females today...they get all caught up in the 'romance' and forget to look at the details.

mimi...that dude didn't even tell you that he LOVES you too...his ass just wants to walk off into the sunset...hell...ain't he got a car?!?!?!?!

and look at what happens...the women in the room are feeling all loving and $h!t...eyeing the male species in the room trying to figure out which one they can get their love jones on with and the men in the room...they a$$es is left lusting some other man's woman...

sJea comes up from behind...trying to surprise Sybil and pull her away from the mike...

naw...sJea leave me alone...i got some $h!t to say...

ladies...there ain't nothing wrong with romance...hell...i love some romance my damn self...but for real ladies...you gotta love yourself more than you love romance and more than you love the individual that you are trying to make be the man in your life...

take some time and step back and look at the relationship that you are in...are you getting a fair return on your investment? or...are you being shortchanged? is this a relationship that you made a decision that you wanted to be in? or was this just the next knucklehead that came around the corner and out of desperation you began to call the bull$h!t that you go through a relationship because you decided that a piece of a man is better than no man at all?

now...i'm not hating on the fellas...i'm just saying...

all this romanticalness is all cute and $h!t...but let's be real...make sure you're looking out for your needs in your relationship...that you are pulling the rose colored glasses off...looking at a situation for what it is and not projecting a long term relationship onto what is a short term acquaintance at best...

learn not to fall in love with a man just cause he slinging a strong johnson and he can make your clit sing...learn to balance that $h!t out with getting to know a negro...meet some of his friends...meet his family...meet his co-workers...meet his dog...hell...meet some f*cking body before you start writing his LAST name behind YOUR first name...looking for bridesmaid's dresses and naming y'all's future kids...

finally, with the help of security, sJea succeeds in yanking Sybil's a$$ offstage...she stands in front of the crowd, straightening her wig, pulling down her dress and facing the stares of the open mouthed partygoers...

"ahem...excuse me...i have to apologize for that...sometimes...she just jumps out from nowhere...and i don't even see her coming...

was she with someone in a fur coat?...oh never mind...

tell you what...next round of drinks on the house...

oh...and let us return to our scheduled entertainment..."

Saturday Night

She didn't realize that all heads turned as she entered room. The midnight blue outfit that she wore played to each voluptuous curve of her womanly body. She had an air about her that you instinctively knew was as much a part of her sexiness as each confident step that she took into the center of the room.

She moved toward an empty spot at the bar and before she could properly seat herself, she was approached by an eager brother who touched her elbow in an attempt to assist her onto the stool's high seat.

A brief flash of annoyance crossed her lovely face but before the unsuspecting gentlemen could recognize it for what it was, she graced him with a winning smile and murmured a soft word of thanks. He immediately took that as an invitation to a conversation.

"Hi, I noticed you when you walked in. I wanted to introduce myself. My name is Barrett."

"Barrett, it's nice to meet you."

"Would you mind telling me your name?"

"My name is Mimi."

"Could I buy you a drink?"

"Actually, Barrett, while I'm very much flattered by your chivalry and I do appreciate your polite approach. I came here tonight just to experience the atmosphere, get lost in the jazz and be moved by the poetry. I didn't come to meet anyone. I came to just be."

Anger flared up and turned Barrett's handsome countenance into an unattractive grimace. "See, that's what I'm talking about. You sisters are always complaining about being unable to meet a nice man and when one approaches you, you shut him down without a second thought."

As she listened to the unprovoked tirade, Mimi's smile turned into a look of patient understanding.

"Um, Barrett, sweetie? Are you done venting?"

With a cross little boy nod, he indicated that he was.

"Dearheart, it was not my intention to offend you. I thought I was being quite polite by explaining my reasons for being here tonight. You see, I would be wrong to allow you to spend your hard earned money on me when everything you will ever get out of an exchange with me, you've already gotten. So, your drink dollars would be better invested on some other undoubtedly lucky young lady who came here to meet just such a man as yourself."

"But why not you?"

"Because Mimi's got a man."

Just about that time, the emcee stepped to the stage, welcomed the crowd and immediately introduced the first poet of the night.

"Atlanta, for the first time anywhere, please give it up for Mimi!!!"

A very surprised Barrett offered Mimi a helping hand and she moved with feline grace and a quiet confidence toward the stage.

She positioned herself in front of the mike and the first notes drifted across the room from the piano man's nimble fingers.

"First I want to do a short piece called breathing exercise. I hope you like it."

Mimi closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"breathe in, slow down, listen…
there is rhyme for this reason
and a time for this season,
cause my man is always pleasin’
me in ways i never imagined.

if i had known this magic did exist,
there’s no way i would have missed
opportunities to be kissed
in other places.

now, time won’t stand still
and my heart can no longer feel
the things that are not real
or make believe.

so i stand on mountaintops and shout
words to tell what love is all about
and listen, slow down, breathe out."

As Mimi opened her eyes and stepped away from the mike, applause took over the room until with a modest smile, she again moved forward and held up her hands.

"This is a piece that I wrote for the man in my life. He couldn't be here tonight, but his spirit travels with me and I am never alone. This is still a work in progress and doesn't really have a title yet, but I'm hoping you will feel what I felt as I began to put this piece together."

This time, the soulful notes from the sexy sax played across the room as Mimi again closed her eyes. For a long moment, she said nothing. When she finally opened her mouth, the first sound was a low moan that came from the deepest part of her.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, boy what you do to me
There are not enough words to tell.
And if your loving keeps me from heaven,
I am on a speed train bound for hell.

Security is what I find with you
when I'm wrapped in your loving arms
And I know that you will always protect me
And keep me safe from harm.

It is evident in every part of your being
That you know how to walk the walk.
And when you're whispering sweet nothings in my ear,
You can surely talk the talk.

When I'm with you, time flies by.
The moments too swiftly pass.
I wish I could stretch each second
and make our time together last.

Three hours seems like three seconds
And three days are not enough,
When all I want is you close to me
Filling me with your love.

When I'm with you, I only want to make you happy
for it gladdens my heart to see you smile.
I'll hold your hand as we take this journey
I'll be with you until the last mile.

Each moment spend together
Certainly heaven here on earth.
And I could spend a thousand tomorrows
But never measure love's worth.

From the deepest part of me,
You see into my soul.
You look past all my secrets.
You magnify my whole.

All that I am and hope to be
I lay at your feet.
And I trust you with my heart
To forever safely keep.

At the end of the day, when every word's been said
And each feeling has been expressed.
I'll keep giving you my all and all
for you give me nothing less.

I am lost within the spell of you
And love's sweet serenity.
I give you this love forever and
For all eternity.

As she stepped away from the mike for a final time and the last strains of music floated away, the entire room was spellbound. As she opened eyes filled with tears of emotion, before her stood her man. Silently, he held his hand out to her and she moved in a trance toward him.

No one in the room moved. Every eye was glued to the scene playing out before them.

As she neared, only those closest to them could hear his words.

"Mimi, will you take my hand and walk with me? I don't know where this path will lead us, but I know without a doubt that I all I want is to have you with me each step along the way. And I can't make any promise past today, but I can assure you that I will do all that I can on this day to see you smile."

The teardrops began to fall as she gazed into his eyes. She said nothing. She only took his hand. As they walked away from the spotlight and out into the night, a collective sigh was heard as the room burst into thunderous applause. Leaving each man in the room longing for the lovely creature who had left each woman present with a renewed faith in love.

grab bag...

you know the thing that i hate about an effin grab bag...there's usually only one good thing in the sorry sack...that ALMOST makes up for the $1 you spent for it...so...send your dollars HERE...and hopefully somewhere in this post...you'll find that ONE thing...

i was moving around the apartment last night butt a$$ naked, holding on to my bottom belly and jiggling it with my hands as i walked...and i was thinking of a whole bunch of stuff that i want to blog about...

but...now that i'm actually sitting here...i got's nothing...suffering from a classic case of CRS...can't remember sh!t...

i do want to mention that sorry f*ck blogbot...and give him an emphatic cyber f*ck you...for his review of my blog on his spot...but then again...as ryan cameron says, "You're not official until you've got haters."...so...maybe i should be expressing my appreciation because with THAT much hate...there is NO WAY i'm not official...

six weeks ago...my daddy...the real one...supposedly...promised me that he was going to send me some money...i just got it in the mail yesterday...

brows finally grew back in...went to dendera in the mall west end to get them done properly...and they were CLOSED...went across the street to nina's nail shop and she hooked 'em up just fine...i now look normal even when i don't have on a lick of browliner...

tp took me to the batting cages on saturday so that i could work on my softball swing...we spent about three hours out there...he's a perfect coach...next workout...my fielding and throwing...

oh...one more thing...i think after nearly 33 years...i'm finally finding the balance between falling head over heels like a brainless idiot and taking time to know a person that you're getting to know and just letting things develop...there is no race to the let's fall in love finish line...we've got all the time in the world...let's just relax into it and be anxious for nothing...

but like gunner said the other day...let me get off here before i keep rambling...

a midlife encounter...

That crazy chick Midlife showed up at my door in that ridiculous fur coat. I should have known something was up. Who in DAHELL wears a fur coat on an August night in Atlanta?!?!?!?!

Being the BGRITS (black girl raised in the south) that I am, full of southern hospitality, I graciously invited her in despite the late, late hour.

Her old rude ass immediately barged in asking me, "Where's the Hen-Dog?"

"Now, Middy, you know my ass don't drink. All I got in here is some water, Cokes, root beer and a bottle of wine some lame ass bought me for Valentines Day. Yes, lame because the fucker knows that I don't drink. How you gone bring a leftover bottle of no-name wineto a tee-totaler?"
Suddenly, I noticed that Middy has gotten awfully quiet.

I turned from the refrigerator and I was greeted with a sight that halted me midturn. The no-name bottle of wine slipped from my grasp breaking all over tile that is the color of faded mustard. The 16 ounce bottle of crystal geyser bounced and rolled under a chair.

This lunatic done pulled a gun out on me.

"Middy, sweetie, what's wrong? What did I do? What do you need? Here. Take everything I have. You can have my six dollar watch from Wal-mart, my life savings from my red plastic piggy bank and the flick collection that I keep under the secret compartment in my stereo rack. Take whatever you want. Just don't hurt me."

"Oh hell, girl. I didn't come for your shit. And I don't want to hurt you. I came for a new blog entry."

So, I'm sitting here wrapped in the infamous red blanket, cheap ass wine drying in the cracks of my kitchen tile, sleep crumbs still stuck in the corner of my eyes, contacts so dried out that I can't damn see straight with Middy's gun stuck in my side.

Fortunately, that damn fur coat has her ass so hot she is to the point of delirium and can't see straight to read what I'm typing.

So, I'm sending out a plea.

HELP ME!!!!!!
Somebody call 911!!!!!!!

love and unity

Love calls my name from every corner
Of your mind, speaking in hushed
Volumes and with whispered words of affection.

Each time I am away from you, I count the minutes
And the hours and leaf through our memories in my mind.

Never imagining an existence without you.

Delighting in the strength of this
Union and comforted by the security in your arms.

Needing nothing more than to have you in my life forever.

I am made new each time our eyes meet for our spirits touch.

Truth is…I carry you in my thoughts constantly and
You are never far from me.

as we lay...

last night...it stormed in atlanta...again...and at 843p...the power went out...again...

i had just stepped away from the stove and gotten down on the floor where he was watching love jones and lay my head on his chest...listening to the rumbles of his deep voice vibrating from deep within...his hands were touching my hair...and i was smiling into his tshirt...

the power blinked...and then went completely off...i immediately made a move to get up and get flashlights and matches to light candles...but he stopped me...and held me still...

"what are you doing?"

"i'm gonna get us some light...."

"what's wrong with this? are you scared?"

having no response, i said nothing...but ceased my movements and relaxed back into our position...

for long moments...there was no conversation...

then he said, "come here..."

so i moved closer to fit into that groove under his arm...placing my head on his shoulder...and he pulled me close...placing little kisses along my cheek...i inhaled...his scent was like a match igniting a slow fire in a warm place...and his touch was a soothing melody strumming gentle notes across my skin...

the silence in the room, our relaxed breathing ...and the fading sounds of thunder leisurely rolling across the night sky provided a soundtrack...

exactly how long we lay this way...i could not tell...i eventually got up to get a flashlight and matches so that i could return to the kitchen and finishing preparing the meal that we ate by candlelight...

as i sit here this afternoon...thinking back to last night...i remember the feeling i felt as we lay...it was as if time stood still and if only for that moment...heaven visited the only two people in my world...and i exhaled...