love is a many splintered thing...

and splinters hurt...

so, many changes have taken place in my life since i've last been posting on a regular basis...most not worth mentioning...but one very big step that i have to write about because i am at a point where i need to examine how i am feeling about how it's going...

TP and moved in together...or...more specifically, we moved into an apartment TOGETHER...because really...for all intents and purposes, we have been living together since july...(which is about the time that i'm certain you guys noticed that my blogging began to seriously fall off - it's like kendall meeks posted in her blog...being half of a couple is not good for blogging because blogging really is a solitary thing...)

at any rate...last month...we moved into OUR apartment...

and i have mixed feelings about it...sometimes...

most of the time...i am as happy as a pig in slop...(yeah, i'm Kuntree...)

but some times...i wonder if i am doing the right thing at all...i wonder from a spiritual / biblical perspective...i wonder from a 'why buy the cow?' perspective...i wonder from the 'need for me time' perspective..

and there is no way i can NOT mention the fact that my stepmom (who in all actuality is my ex-step father's last wife) had the audacity to say to me that tp and i were "doing it backwards" by deciding to live together...her exact words, "I don't see why y'all don't go ahead and get married instead of just living together."

i chose to politely and respectfully allow her to voice her opinions...nodding and smiling the whole while...

when really...what was in the back of my mind what i was saying to her was..."are you for real with this ish? i mean, really...ma...this coming from you? the woman who had an affair with my ex-stepdad while he was still married to my mother? he left my mother for you...the woman who gave birth to me? do you think that just because it was 16 years ago that I've forgotten? seriously?"

yeah, i know...forgive and forget and live and let live and so on...and really...in the past ten years, she really has stepped into the role of 'mother' to me...(as best as she can given that i was nearly 25 when we really begin to develop a relationship)...and because of that...most of the time...i give her all of the honor and respect that is due to her as a parent...

but sometimes...you just gotta call bullshit...bullshit...

so...yeah...i have a lot on my mind...

and as i am sitting here trying to type it all out...all of the thoughts that i want to address are running together like rush hour traffic at spaghetti junction...

lots of volume...but little movement and almost no progress...

(which is usually what happens to me when i venture out in deeper waters...)

and just like i always do...i am going to retreat to the kiddie pool...go pour myself a glass of tea...find the comfortable chair...put my feet up and commence with a very intense study of the back of my eyelids...

i will come back to this...there is so much more here....cause i really want to talk about how love on a day in / day out basis is not that "splendored" at all...it is something else altogether...