PMDD

If only I could put into words how PMDD affects my life.

There are no words to adequately communicate the total loss of anything that closely resembles motivation in my life right now.

It's weird how I can be going along 90 to nothing, the very picture of sunshine and light, on a mission to take over the world and become the motivator of all motivators and out of nowhere, crash and burn.

And when I say crash, I mean CRASH!!! and when I say burn, I mean burn all the way up into little pieces of ash that float along on the breeze like my ass is the Space Shuttle Challenger. Little pieces of nothing.

That's what I am feeling like right now. Like little pieces of nothing.

I don't feel like bathing. I don't feel like getting dressed. I don't want to walk down the stairs. I don't want to get into my truck and drive it to the office. I don't want to sit at my desk and do nothing.

I don't want to anything.

Hell, I don't even want to be typing right now, but somehow, it feels like getting all of these uninspired, 'nothing' thoughts out of my head will make me feel better or speed up my return to normalcy.

And I will return to normal, in a couple of days, all I will have is a memory of feeling this way and I will be sound in the knowledge that next time I get to feeling this way, I will deal with it better because I will be more aware and since knowing is half the battle and blah, blah, blah and so on.

Until then, I am still just concentrating on existing.