I am not strong

Society places a lot of value on strength. Strong man. Strong medicine. Strength of Character. And I could go on.

Strength is a desirable characteristic to be endowed with. Most believe that if you are strong, you can withstand anything.

Many times in my life, I have been admired for my perceived strength.

Sometimes, it's not been strength at all. More often than not, what most mistakenly name strength in my character is something else altogether. Sometimes, it has been fear of failure, which is euphemistically called courage. Sometimes, I go on to keep from embarassing myself. This is where strength should more correctly be called pride. Then there are times when I put on my bravest face and see something through to the end because I do not want to be called a quitter. It is here that strength should be called stubborness. I must also mention the times when I stay the course because I really have no ideas on what I should be doing differently. Strength here should be called failure to have a backup plan.

I have come to realize that strong is not what I am. And I am okay with that because I do not need to be strong. For it is during my weakest times that I allow myself to rest on the strength of the Hands that move me. Yes, where I am weak, He is strong. During my weakest times, I lay burdens that I never should have tried to bear alone at His feet. I allow myself to be cradled in his arms and the two sets of footprints become one.

It is when I am most fearful, when I am most overwhelmed, when I am most troubled, that I am finally able to do what He wants me to do every day. I leave it all to Him and trust Him to direct my paths.

During these times, I am tasked with leaning not to mine own understanding. I aim to display grace under pressure. I strive to stand still so that He can move.

But strength, I do not pray for, I do not attempt to pull it from my reserves. Instead, I acknowledge my weakness and glory in His power.

For I am not strong.