and i was blasted...

disclaimer: i am going to share something that happened this past friday...just for the record, i ain't mad...i'm just sharing...hell...in a way...i got exactly what i deserved...so...as i often say...it is what it is...it's gone be what it's gone be...and i'ma let it do what it do...

i blog around the world...i'm addicted to blogging...and i participate in a number of them on the regular...and as it often happens...i have developed some really cool 'real' friends that i met in a virtual world...

the most important group is a ragtag bunch of blog addicts who meet daily in our proboards forum...we discuss everything from the news of the moment...to relationship experiences, sex included, childhood memories, workplace stress, car problems, idiot friends and so on...sometimes...the discussions are funny or enlightening, eyeopening, educational, heated and every other thing that you can think a human experience would be...

well...on friday...a topic of discussion took an unexpected turn...it went south...and then...went straight to hell soaked in gasoline draws sitting in a handbasket...

but...i learned something...all of what people say they think of you...ain't all that they think of you...

and this is what i learned that someone thinks of me and certain situations in my life...

i must admit...this tirade came after i put her on blast for something that she had shared with me off-blog...

her response:

And if you really want to go there:

What about how you tried to make it seem like you saw the 'light' and decided to sell your house when you were already 3 months behind in your mortgage - they were about to foreclose on that house anyway. But I let that slide...

Then you get fired from your job, paint it like God has made it so you can work on your book and that you were going to live off of unemployment, when apparently all wasn't well while you were taking work naps and working 4 hour days and claiming 8 because they denied your claim - NOW you decide to get up off your lazy ass and look for work.

All I've tried to do was help you and you try to put me on front street.

Nah, nah, nah - just pay me the $500 that you owe me and get to stepping out of my life - and if you don't pay me back $500 is worth knowing that someone I was going to let in my inner circle ain't worth a damn.

now...everybody knows how effed up she sees my life to be...

and now we have the truth...

i'll admit it...i got MOST of my business put on blast and got my feelings hurt...but it just goes to prove that none of us are ever 100% honest with any of us...like i said earlier...

if that was really the view of my situation, decisions, circumstances and if you love me so much that you tell me the truth about how you see through my bullshit...why not just call it bullshit when you saw it as such?

cause it ain't all bullshit and it certainly ain't all love...

but what it really boils down to is that nobody wants honesty especially when your brand of it is not pretty...when it's gritty and nasty and it comes in a way that you can no longer tell yourself pretty lies to hold onto your sanity...

but at the same time...most people don't want to be THAT honest...