Well the wedding is over and I think it the whole damn thing should have been over before it even started. Like good guests do, we arrived at the church at 3:50pm going to a four o'clock wedding. Who ever knew that the wedding was not going to start until 6:30pm? Talk about late, unorganized and thrown together.
By the time the happy couple and the wedding party finally arrived, my dad and I were nearing a HEAT STROKE from the 95 degrees temperature outside and the church being 159 degrees on the inside...with no air conditioning and one lonely little ceiling fan twirling 2 blades as hard as it could.
Once the sad little wedding started, it took longer for the wedding party to come in and get lined up than it did for the preacher to say the vows. The wedding party consisted of a maid of honor and first best man, a matron of honor and second best man, 6 bridesmaids and their attendants, 4 junior bridesmaids and their attendants, 3 flower girls and 2 ring bearers - one for his ring and one for hers.
I am sure the preacher didn't or couldn't remember who he was marrying because he could not get either one of their names right.
To make matters worse, we were presented with the newly wedded couple dressed in all white with tattoos covering the parts that fabric didn't.
How can this day be saved? (I know you are thinking what I was thinking) I am starving - I'm at a black wedding - at least the food will be good...NOPE!! Now why would you think such a thing? The food gave new meaning to the rap song from the Sugar Hill Gang.."The chicken taste like WOOD."
And please tell me how I got stuck serving the wedding party and the guests at the reception. The geniuses planning this fiasco paid her sister's cousin baby's daddy auntie to cook the food for the reception. However, no one gave any thought to how the food would be served. So, while everyone was looking at each other wondering what was the protocol for getting fed, I decided to take action. I was not going to faint from hunger waiting for these negroes to get done being cute and ghetto proper.
Then, of course, who needs cake at a wedding? I glad I am not the only one who thought this, because YEP!! No wedding cake...So we all just raised out glasses with the new couple with Fanta Grape Soda, offered our well wishes and danced the night away to a mixed CD that was purchased at the flea market on Old Nat'L. The CD was played on the stereo from the bride's grandmother's living room. Yes - the brought the whole damn rack system, speakers and all and set it up in the corner of the room.
Oh....the things we do for love.
Don't this little story make you want to just throw your self at the next person that walks in your life and say HEY Let's get married...invite all of our friends and family and ruin not only our Saturday but THEIRS too?
