I recently watched the episode of Iyanla's "Fix My Life" with the Pace Sisters. I found in interesting that Iyanla alluded to the fact that the sisters were all overweight and had issues with food because of some hidden emotional trauma and that they were "wearing their pain."
At one point, I was sixty pounds overweight. In 2007, I was able to successfully lose 50 pounds and keep it off for nearly two years. In 2009, I met my husband. I slowly moved away from most of my healthy habits. My nights spent playing softball became evenings spent cuddling on the couch after cooking full meals and eating something sweet as a dessert. My mornings spent walking/running a perfect three mile route or on the elliptical in my apartment complex's fitness center turned into sleeping in and making full breakfast meals before work nearly every morning. And I gained back 20 pounds over the last four years. Being that I have again return to a healthier lifestyle, I found Iyanla's observation gave me pause.
So, I have had this interesting relationship with weight loss and healthy living for the past several years. Seeing this episode of FML, caused me to do something that I have not ever really done before – giving some thought to the questions of why/how I gained the weight in the first place. And I have come to a conclusion.
While Iyanla's fix for the Pace sisters may make sense for them, it makes no sense for me. You see, I was not overweight growing up. I was active in sports and raised by a grandmother whose lifestyle was active by its very nature. We spent our summer mornings picking fresh beans and peas in the field and our afternoons canning the morning's work. In the winter, we had a freezer full of food locally raised and our meals were not heavy on meat. I was active in sports.
In fact, I didn't gain a lot of weight until I met and started dating someone who was overweight himself in my late 20's. I was praised for my thickening thighs and ballooning behind. I began shopping in Lane Bryant like they were designing clothes specifically for me. I began telling myself, "I'm not a teenager anymore. Why would I continue to have a teenager's body?" I spiraled from an active healthy lifestyle into one that was sedentary and filled with calorie overindulgences.
Reality slapped me in the face one afternoon while I was out grocery shopping. I kept looking behind me as I went down the aisles, trying to figure out who was following me. Suddenly, I looked down only to realize that what was so uncomfortably tailing me in the grocery store was my own behind.
And I was done. However, for almost two years, I made little to no progress in actually moving back to a healthy lifestyle or losing any weight. It took some time for me to figure out what ultimately works for me. I found the site SparkPeople in July 2007. I was able to use the tools on the free site to learn about healthy eating and healthy lifestyle habits. I lost forty pounds in about six months.
During that time, I went through some changes in my personal life. However, I did not regain the weight. It was until I was "in love" again that my weight began to creep up. So, no, I am not an emotional eater. I am a lazy, undisciplined eater who is given to overindulging in fast food, cookies, cake and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and paying more attention to things/people outside of herself than is healthy for me.
What works for my healthy lifestyle is being active every single day. It is paying attention to my eating habits. It is meal planning and avoiding fast food restaurants. It is turning down my favorite sweet tea and turning up water. It is recognizing that there are indulgences that I will continue to allow myself but not going overboard. It is being actively involved in and paying attention to my health on a daily basis.
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