i started off last week determined not to complain...today...that is SO not the case...i am really hatin' life this morning...i DID NOT want to get out of bed...i DO NOT want to go to work...i CANNOT find that cheerful, perky, pleasant Professional that lives somewhere inside me...hopefully...by the time i actually get to the office...the Professional...or something that closely resembles her will have surfaced...but...alas...enough about me...
tell me about the fabulous long weekend that all of u had....the same weekend that i spent in the house the entire time...trying to medicate and sleep off a sinus infection....the highlight of my weekend...the two hours that i spent lusting over mos def with joji on sunday night...even joj admitted that SHE would have to give it up to mos...Ab-so-damn-lutely amazing....
5.31.2004
5.27.2004
dreams do come true...
My girl...congratulations....i am as proud of her as i would be of my best friend's sister's boyfriend's baby cousin....
seeing fantasia's dream come true...motivates me to get back on the grind...working on my OWN dreams...i have been working on a few business plans and developing some ideas...but i have been distracted...so...if i am not posting as frequently during the day...it ain't cause i don't love u guys...it's cause i'm working on my exit plan...performing the due diligence that is required to make things happen...
btw...i may be asking for ur support....
seeing fantasia's dream come true...motivates me to get back on the grind...working on my OWN dreams...i have been working on a few business plans and developing some ideas...but i have been distracted...so...if i am not posting as frequently during the day...it ain't cause i don't love u guys...it's cause i'm working on my exit plan...performing the due diligence that is required to make things happen...
btw...i may be asking for ur support....
5.26.2004
the problem w/ black folks...did cos call it right?
Cosby, Saying the Darndest Things
" Bill Cosby was anything but politically correct in his remarks Monday night at a Constitution Hall bash commemorating the 50th anniversary of the Brown v. Board of Education decision. To astonishment, laughter and applause, Cosby mocked everything from urban fashion to black spending and speaking habits.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal," he declared. "These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids -- $500 sneakers for what? And won't spend $200 for 'Hooked on Phonics.' . . .
"They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English," he exclaimed. "I can't even talk the way these people talk: 'Why you ain't,' 'Where you is' . . . And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk. . . . Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. . . . You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth!"
The Post's Hamil Harris reports that Cosby also turned his wrath to "the incarcerated," saying: "These are not political criminals. These are people going around stealing Coca-Cola. People getting shot in the back of the head over a piece of pound cake and then we run out and we are outraged, [saying] 'The cops shouldn't have shot him.' What the hell was he doing with the pound cake in his hand?"
When Cosby finally concluded, Howard University President H. Patrick Swygert, NAACP President Kweisi Mfume and NAACP legal defense fund head Theodore Shaw came to the podium looking stone-faced. Shaw told the crowd that most people on welfare are not African American, and many of the problems his organization has addressed in the black community were not self-inflicted....
what is the problem w/ black folks?....
" Bill Cosby was anything but politically correct in his remarks Monday night at a Constitution Hall bash commemorating the 50th anniversary of the Brown v. Board of Education decision. To astonishment, laughter and applause, Cosby mocked everything from urban fashion to black spending and speaking habits.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal," he declared. "These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids -- $500 sneakers for what? And won't spend $200 for 'Hooked on Phonics.' . . .
"They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English," he exclaimed. "I can't even talk the way these people talk: 'Why you ain't,' 'Where you is' . . . And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk. . . . Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. . . . You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth!"
The Post's Hamil Harris reports that Cosby also turned his wrath to "the incarcerated," saying: "These are not political criminals. These are people going around stealing Coca-Cola. People getting shot in the back of the head over a piece of pound cake and then we run out and we are outraged, [saying] 'The cops shouldn't have shot him.' What the hell was he doing with the pound cake in his hand?"
When Cosby finally concluded, Howard University President H. Patrick Swygert, NAACP President Kweisi Mfume and NAACP legal defense fund head Theodore Shaw came to the podium looking stone-faced. Shaw told the crowd that most people on welfare are not African American, and many of the problems his organization has addressed in the black community were not self-inflicted....
what is the problem w/ black folks?....
5.24.2004
monday morning...
i am not going to start the week off complaining...i am going to be grateful that i have a job to go to...grateful that i have a house whose mortgage needs to be paid...grateful that i have a truck whose payment MUST be made...there are those who do not have these things...that are hoping and wishing and praying, even....for things that i often take for granted...sometimes...i have to remind myself that there are people who would kill for the problems that i THINK i have...at the same time...i have had to remind others that although my lot in life might not be the same as urs...my burdens are just as heavy to me as urs are to u...
so...i start this week off with a prayer for myself, my bfam and friends and my family...may this week find u with ur steps ordered, ur way just a little easier and ur burdens just a little lighter...may ur higher power bless u...may u walk in favor...and may u taste joy unspeakable...
so...i start this week off with a prayer for myself, my bfam and friends and my family...may this week find u with ur steps ordered, ur way just a little easier and ur burdens just a little lighter...may ur higher power bless u...may u walk in favor...and may u taste joy unspeakable...
5.19.2004
lost it...got it back...moving forward...
mailman and i are back on the right track...yesterday...the relationship experienced some growing pains...last night...he made up beautifully...we have a greater understanding on the issue...
in our conversation regarding yesterday's issue...something else came up...
friends of the opposite sex...
i told him that i didn't have a problem w/ him having female friends...and i don't w/ conditions...i know...i sound like mia w/ her rules...at any rate...the conditions are that he is not hiding friendships from me...that i am properly introduced when appropriate...not that he has to go out of his way to introduce me to his friends...just if we happen to encounter one of his friends...i expect to be acknowledged...that he does not make me feel like i CAN'T be around him and his female friends...
he says that his last gf was threatened by his friendships w/ females...it's funny...as much as i have issues with trust...this is not a hang up of mine...go figure...
in our conversation regarding yesterday's issue...something else came up...
friends of the opposite sex...
i told him that i didn't have a problem w/ him having female friends...and i don't w/ conditions...i know...i sound like mia w/ her rules...at any rate...the conditions are that he is not hiding friendships from me...that i am properly introduced when appropriate...not that he has to go out of his way to introduce me to his friends...just if we happen to encounter one of his friends...i expect to be acknowledged...that he does not make me feel like i CAN'T be around him and his female friends...
he says that his last gf was threatened by his friendships w/ females...it's funny...as much as i have issues with trust...this is not a hang up of mine...go figure...
addictions...
my mother's husband is a drug addict...
i wish that she would walk away from him...but she won't....sure....she says that she gets fed up...but...she's not going anywhere...
i used to try to encourage her to get away from the madness...his stealing from her...she used to have to keep my baby sister's new clothes at a friend's house to keep him from stealing them and selling them for drugs...he will disappear for days at a time...and return and act as if he were never gone...
i know they say u have to let a person go thru a thing until THEY get tired...but damn...
my mom called me sunday night to say that he had stolen all of the money that she had for gas and groceries to get to thru the week...so...guess who has to send my mother money so my 10 year old sister will have lunch money this week?..how pissed am i?...
i feel as if i am enabling him by supporting my mother when he steals from her...what is a daughter to do?
i wish that she would walk away from him...but she won't....sure....she says that she gets fed up...but...she's not going anywhere...
i used to try to encourage her to get away from the madness...his stealing from her...she used to have to keep my baby sister's new clothes at a friend's house to keep him from stealing them and selling them for drugs...he will disappear for days at a time...and return and act as if he were never gone...
i know they say u have to let a person go thru a thing until THEY get tired...but damn...
my mom called me sunday night to say that he had stolen all of the money that she had for gas and groceries to get to thru the week...so...guess who has to send my mother money so my 10 year old sister will have lunch money this week?..how pissed am i?...
i feel as if i am enabling him by supporting my mother when he steals from her...what is a daughter to do?
5.17.2004
forbidden fruit...
i am sleepy as hell this morning...if i didn't have some cover my ass kind of work to do this morning...i would have stayed my ass home in the bed...
ATL was having a Traffic Event this morning...coming in on the 75/85 was crazy...and please tell me y this guy driving a red grand prix was sitting in traffic asleep...cars were just passing his ass on the left shoulder and i'm thinking that there is something wrong w/ his car...wrong...he had his head back, mouth open and was knocked out...i have officially seen it ALL...
here is my issue this morning....
why are people always talking about they can't find a good man or a good woman, but always want to pursue someone who is already in a relationship? then...when they just so happen to get w/ that person...and the relationship is horrible and they are unhappy...they start tripping...i mean...didn't they get exactly what they asked for?...a relationship w/ someone who will lie and cheat?...u ALREADY knew when u asked to meet her/him that this person had a gf or bf or husband or wife or whatever...y not just respect the relationship and move on?...
and of course, it goes the other way....i have friends who are married or in relationships that are always into something...talking about "ain't nothing wrong w/ having friends"...i guess there is just something about the grass appearing to be greener...my thing is...pick some grass and stick with it...
it takes forever to build a relationship that lasts forever...
ATL was having a Traffic Event this morning...coming in on the 75/85 was crazy...and please tell me y this guy driving a red grand prix was sitting in traffic asleep...cars were just passing his ass on the left shoulder and i'm thinking that there is something wrong w/ his car...wrong...he had his head back, mouth open and was knocked out...i have officially seen it ALL...
here is my issue this morning....
why are people always talking about they can't find a good man or a good woman, but always want to pursue someone who is already in a relationship? then...when they just so happen to get w/ that person...and the relationship is horrible and they are unhappy...they start tripping...i mean...didn't they get exactly what they asked for?...a relationship w/ someone who will lie and cheat?...u ALREADY knew when u asked to meet her/him that this person had a gf or bf or husband or wife or whatever...y not just respect the relationship and move on?...
and of course, it goes the other way....i have friends who are married or in relationships that are always into something...talking about "ain't nothing wrong w/ having friends"...i guess there is just something about the grass appearing to be greener...my thing is...pick some grass and stick with it...
it takes forever to build a relationship that lasts forever...
5.15.2004
some of my dreams and aspirations...and some shit i just want...
Improve tennis game
Get Paid to Teach Resume Writing Class and Interviewing Classes
Learn about the cemetery at Cleveland Ave Exit on I75 South
Be debt free except mortgage in three years or less
Own a complete set of designer luggage with a lifetime guarantee
Secure financing to market resume business as a full time venture
Have a monthly income of at least $5,000 from a residual income source
Own real estate as an investment
Invest in stock market monthly for the long term
Invest in mutual funds monthly for the long term
Build emergency fund to hold $10,000
Pay off mortgage for house on Post Oak Road in 7 years or less
Be a guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show
Become a licensed real estate agent
Write a book
Become a millionaire with a net worth of at least $10mil
Maintain a good credit rating
Own a beauty salon and a barbershop as investment property
Develop invention idea
Own extensive music collection - mainly R&B
Own extensive movie collection - mostly Black movies and actors
Start a scholarship fund
Start a foundation - Cat's Kids
Stay in Great Physical Condition
Landscaping for front yard
Vacation trip quarterly
Own a vacation home or timeshare on the east coast
Get Paid to Teach Resume Writing Class and Interviewing Classes
Learn about the cemetery at Cleveland Ave Exit on I75 South
Be debt free except mortgage in three years or less
Own a complete set of designer luggage with a lifetime guarantee
Secure financing to market resume business as a full time venture
Have a monthly income of at least $5,000 from a residual income source
Own real estate as an investment
Invest in stock market monthly for the long term
Invest in mutual funds monthly for the long term
Build emergency fund to hold $10,000
Pay off mortgage for house on Post Oak Road in 7 years or less
Be a guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show
Become a licensed real estate agent
Write a book
Become a millionaire with a net worth of at least $10mil
Maintain a good credit rating
Own a beauty salon and a barbershop as investment property
Develop invention idea
Own extensive music collection - mainly R&B
Own extensive movie collection - mostly Black movies and actors
Start a scholarship fund
Start a foundation - Cat's Kids
Stay in Great Physical Condition
Landscaping for front yard
Vacation trip quarterly
Own a vacation home or timeshare on the east coast
5.14.2004
responding to vq...
Virgin Queen, I received your email and chose to respond in this manner:
Mostly, my comment on MIA's blog yesterday was in jest. You'd have to know me personally to understand my dry humor and razor sharp wit. (Okay, I'm laughing at my-damn-self here.) However, there IS a part of you that will NEVER be able to relate to most of the commentors on the blog.
Did you understand the MarcusDdixon reference? What are your feelings on the Marcus Dixon case?
I know that we have mentioned it briefly on the blog. I don't know if you have commented on it or not. Basically, your comment yesterday about it being crazy in the South was one that I know that you made humorously. However, I read it and was immediately taken to a place that only people who look like me can relate to - a South that you probably have no clue that it exists.
Trying to wrap this up here.
Basically, you seem like a fairly intelligent young woman. You have had some interesting life experiences. Given all that., there is one experience that you will never be able to have - what it's like to be Black in America. And in this particular case - the Marcus Dixon case - what it's like to be a young Black man in the South. And even more to the point - a young black man in Georgia. A state where so many of it's people absolutely re-fucking-fuse to get over the Civil War and strongly believe that the perceived heritage of the Rebel Flag is a valid reason for mocking an entire people. They don't understand that it is a symbol of hate - no different than the Swastikas on the flags of Hitler's Germany.
Anyway, back to Marcus - a young man poised for great success, but brought to his knees by a young lady probably not too much different from u.
imo...this young lady was intrigued by who md was...a good looking, popular, outgoing high school athlete w/ a very promising future...a man who represents 2 of the most popular trends in america today...the hip hop culture and the lifestyle of the athlete...she did not think past that...she did not consider the reaction of her parents if her actions were made known...she was caught up doing what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it...and with whom...at the point that she was discovered...she took a role that many like her have for decades before...and who was believed?...who's life was destroyed?..
vq...i could go on...but i don't know that i will ever make u understand the dichotomy of race relations in america...and how it seriously affects people who look like me when most of the time...people who look like u don't ever have to give it a second thought...
i said all of that to say that my comments were not a direct dig at u...but an observation about the state of america in general...and as i always say...when it comes to the blog...don't take this shit personal...it ain't that damned deep...in fact...i kind of like u...ur cool w/ me...u will just never understand my reality...
Mostly, my comment on MIA's blog yesterday was in jest. You'd have to know me personally to understand my dry humor and razor sharp wit. (Okay, I'm laughing at my-damn-self here.) However, there IS a part of you that will NEVER be able to relate to most of the commentors on the blog.
Did you understand the MarcusDdixon reference? What are your feelings on the Marcus Dixon case?
I know that we have mentioned it briefly on the blog. I don't know if you have commented on it or not. Basically, your comment yesterday about it being crazy in the South was one that I know that you made humorously. However, I read it and was immediately taken to a place that only people who look like me can relate to - a South that you probably have no clue that it exists.
Trying to wrap this up here.
Basically, you seem like a fairly intelligent young woman. You have had some interesting life experiences. Given all that., there is one experience that you will never be able to have - what it's like to be Black in America. And in this particular case - the Marcus Dixon case - what it's like to be a young Black man in the South. And even more to the point - a young black man in Georgia. A state where so many of it's people absolutely re-fucking-fuse to get over the Civil War and strongly believe that the perceived heritage of the Rebel Flag is a valid reason for mocking an entire people. They don't understand that it is a symbol of hate - no different than the Swastikas on the flags of Hitler's Germany.
Anyway, back to Marcus - a young man poised for great success, but brought to his knees by a young lady probably not too much different from u.
imo...this young lady was intrigued by who md was...a good looking, popular, outgoing high school athlete w/ a very promising future...a man who represents 2 of the most popular trends in america today...the hip hop culture and the lifestyle of the athlete...she did not think past that...she did not consider the reaction of her parents if her actions were made known...she was caught up doing what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it...and with whom...at the point that she was discovered...she took a role that many like her have for decades before...and who was believed?...who's life was destroyed?..
vq...i could go on...but i don't know that i will ever make u understand the dichotomy of race relations in america...and how it seriously affects people who look like me when most of the time...people who look like u don't ever have to give it a second thought...
i said all of that to say that my comments were not a direct dig at u...but an observation about the state of america in general...and as i always say...when it comes to the blog...don't take this shit personal...it ain't that damned deep...in fact...i kind of like u...ur cool w/ me...u will just never understand my reality...
5.13.2004
i could kill a bitch...
all that little cutsie corporate america professional bullshit is about to go out the window...i hate this fuckin' bitch...what the fuck?..she acts like she is paying me this bullshit ass hourly rate out of her fuckin pocket...i am REALLY ready to give her my ass to kiss...her ass is just shitty b/c i can do this fuckin job blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back and STILL make it look easy while her fuckin ass is strugglin...
it has probably never occurred to her that if she would stop trying to be in charge of everything and everybody and just concentrate on her job...she wouldn't be walking around here stressed and looking like a chicken w/ its fuckin head cut off...
i want to tell her so bad...bitch...stay out of my shit...let me do my god-damned job...i can manage my own shit w/ out ur assistance...stank u very fuckin much...in fact...u need to leave me the fuck alone b4 i have ur job....
it has probably never occurred to her that if she would stop trying to be in charge of everything and everybody and just concentrate on her job...she wouldn't be walking around here stressed and looking like a chicken w/ its fuckin head cut off...
i want to tell her so bad...bitch...stay out of my shit...let me do my god-damned job...i can manage my own shit w/ out ur assistance...stank u very fuckin much...in fact...u need to leave me the fuck alone b4 i have ur job....
i love phucking you...
i luv phuckin u...
u'r shit is so good...
i would phuck u
as a full time job if i could
when u r lickin and stickin
and phuckin me right...
i can barely get thru my day
trying to get 2 u at night...
when u'r not around
phucking u is on my mind
why don't u swing by my spot
and give me a little time?
i'm ur lady in the streets
ur freak in the bed
i love licking u there
and giving u head..
u know i'm loving it,
how good u feel in my mouth
and the juices overflow
when u head due south
whether doing it missionary
or freakin doggy style
keep doing what u do
it drives me wild
i love phuckin u
how u stick and move
i can't wait to see u
and get back in the groove
u'r shit is so good...
i would phuck u
as a full time job if i could
when u r lickin and stickin
and phuckin me right...
i can barely get thru my day
trying to get 2 u at night...
when u'r not around
phucking u is on my mind
why don't u swing by my spot
and give me a little time?
i'm ur lady in the streets
ur freak in the bed
i love licking u there
and giving u head..
u know i'm loving it,
how good u feel in my mouth
and the juices overflow
when u head due south
whether doing it missionary
or freakin doggy style
keep doing what u do
it drives me wild
i love phuckin u
how u stick and move
i can't wait to see u
and get back in the groove
5.11.2004
The Mailman ALWAYS Delivers...
since my last post about my new buddy...i figured it was time for me to stop procrastinating on my post about y i am TOTALLY digging the mailman...there are so many reasons...how do i love thee, let me count the ways....
first off...physically...everyone knows what they are attracted to in the opposite sex and what kind of physical characteristics they are lkg for in a mate...often...u will compromise in one area b/c u are attracted in another area...w/ Mailman...there is no compromise...at all...anywhere....he is tall...6'2'...w/ me being 5'10...this is perfect...he is light skinned...now - i don't discriminate against the brothers...but...there ain't nothing in this world like a light skinned man..he has light brown eyes...that speaks for itself...he has a beautiful face and a perfect smile....he is physically fit...the boy ain't got no fat nowhere on his body...he works out regularly...has those broad shoulders that taper into the perfect waist...he has beautifully shaped hands...his body is perfectly proportioned...his manhood...i won't be too explicit here...but i will say that it curves to fit my nahnny perfectly...and he always hits that spot....
and i guess that takes me to sexually...we are totally in tune sexually...i have not a single complaint...he is attentive to my needs...he is into foreplay...he is adventurous...he is romantic...i could go on with this...let me just sum it up by saying...bruhman puts it down....
he is available emotionally...he came out of a two-year relationship at the beginning of the year...inititally, i was leary of being the 'rebound girl'...but...he really is proving himself to be 100% present in the relationship....
intellectually...he is a thinker...i like how sometimes...i can say something...and he will ask me a question about my comments that take the conversation in a whole different direction...i like the fact that he actually has a thought process (can ya' feel me here?)...he is not a shallow man....
he's a great father...he has joint custody of his daughter and is handling those responsibilties beautifully...
he is employed...with benefits...'nuff said...
he likes my cooking...he's loves the fact that i keep his fav beer in my fridge...i have to mention that he is LOVING my big screen...
we have fun when we are together...our vibe is relaxed and natural...he is a real down to earth kind of dude...he calls me his 'ride or die chick'...that is when he isn't calling me 'ma'...that is so sexy to me...
his voice is deep and soulful...i can just listen to him talk for hours...
he thinks that i am fine as hell...he's always going on about my breasts and my tight, firm ass...is against the lipo...but says that it's my body and he will support whatever my decision is...but that i am already fine....
one of the most important things tho...right now...is that he meets me where i am...he is giving me just as much energy as i am giving him...
i'll probably come back and update this post...there is so much to say about this man...
i think i'm falling for a man named nakia
when we first met, who knew this could be a
relationship that could lead me to see a
future with him and a love that's for real...
first off...physically...everyone knows what they are attracted to in the opposite sex and what kind of physical characteristics they are lkg for in a mate...often...u will compromise in one area b/c u are attracted in another area...w/ Mailman...there is no compromise...at all...anywhere....he is tall...6'2'...w/ me being 5'10...this is perfect...he is light skinned...now - i don't discriminate against the brothers...but...there ain't nothing in this world like a light skinned man..he has light brown eyes...that speaks for itself...he has a beautiful face and a perfect smile....he is physically fit...the boy ain't got no fat nowhere on his body...he works out regularly...has those broad shoulders that taper into the perfect waist...he has beautifully shaped hands...his body is perfectly proportioned...his manhood...i won't be too explicit here...but i will say that it curves to fit my nahnny perfectly...and he always hits that spot....
and i guess that takes me to sexually...we are totally in tune sexually...i have not a single complaint...he is attentive to my needs...he is into foreplay...he is adventurous...he is romantic...i could go on with this...let me just sum it up by saying...bruhman puts it down....
he is available emotionally...he came out of a two-year relationship at the beginning of the year...inititally, i was leary of being the 'rebound girl'...but...he really is proving himself to be 100% present in the relationship....
intellectually...he is a thinker...i like how sometimes...i can say something...and he will ask me a question about my comments that take the conversation in a whole different direction...i like the fact that he actually has a thought process (can ya' feel me here?)...he is not a shallow man....
he's a great father...he has joint custody of his daughter and is handling those responsibilties beautifully...
he is employed...with benefits...'nuff said...
he likes my cooking...he's loves the fact that i keep his fav beer in my fridge...i have to mention that he is LOVING my big screen...
we have fun when we are together...our vibe is relaxed and natural...he is a real down to earth kind of dude...he calls me his 'ride or die chick'...that is when he isn't calling me 'ma'...that is so sexy to me...
his voice is deep and soulful...i can just listen to him talk for hours...
he thinks that i am fine as hell...he's always going on about my breasts and my tight, firm ass...is against the lipo...but says that it's my body and he will support whatever my decision is...but that i am already fine....
one of the most important things tho...right now...is that he meets me where i am...he is giving me just as much energy as i am giving him...
i'll probably come back and update this post...there is so much to say about this man...
i think i'm falling for a man named nakia
when we first met, who knew this could be a
relationship that could lead me to see a
future with him and a love that's for real...
My NEW Buddy
Last week, I met someone who TOTALLY turned my head.
And i do mean totally.
I was on overload. He is sexy in a way that is subtle - his confidence, his smile, that slightly naughty, slightly suggestive look in his eyes.
Yep, I was really feeling buddy.
Mailman was out of town this weekend. So, I had an opportunity to spend some time with this person. We met and spent a couple of hours on the patio of a Mexican restaurant just talking, flirting, getting to know one another, trading war stories.
My curiosity about who he is was satisfied in a perfectly acceptable way.
At the end of the two hours, we parted as friends. And I believe we have an understanding. I think that we both respect the attraction that is there, but we are mature enough to leave it where it is.
And i do mean totally.
I was on overload. He is sexy in a way that is subtle - his confidence, his smile, that slightly naughty, slightly suggestive look in his eyes.
Yep, I was really feeling buddy.
Mailman was out of town this weekend. So, I had an opportunity to spend some time with this person. We met and spent a couple of hours on the patio of a Mexican restaurant just talking, flirting, getting to know one another, trading war stories.
My curiosity about who he is was satisfied in a perfectly acceptable way.
At the end of the two hours, we parted as friends. And I believe we have an understanding. I think that we both respect the attraction that is there, but we are mature enough to leave it where it is.
5.07.2004
random thoughts...
929a...my soulmate...if i could give more than everything...that's what i'd want to give...
952a...intellectual intimacy...w/o it...my soul will ache...
1020a...if ur not giving me as much as i am giving u...y am i doing what i am doing at all?
10:23a...u didn't start out as my soulmate...but in time u became the other part of who i am...b/c ur loving my soul like i'm loving urs...
10:38a...how do i fill the void left in my heart when ur soul did not recognize mine?..u were so close to me physically...but so far away from me emotionally...that the connection we should have had mentally...never came to be...my entire being mourns...
1112a...from my eyes fall raindrops...the circus music never stops...i shout ur name from mountaintops...my soul bleeds little chocolate drops
1151a...it's like reading a book w/ no title...no plot...no direction...how do u follow the story when ur making it up as u go along?..
1205p...even when i'm standing in front of the world w/ a smile on my face..b/c u know my soul...u hear me screaming on the inside...
157p...if i didn't say goodbye when i left...would u even realize i was gone?..
952a...intellectual intimacy...w/o it...my soul will ache...
1020a...if ur not giving me as much as i am giving u...y am i doing what i am doing at all?
10:23a...u didn't start out as my soulmate...but in time u became the other part of who i am...b/c ur loving my soul like i'm loving urs...
10:38a...how do i fill the void left in my heart when ur soul did not recognize mine?..u were so close to me physically...but so far away from me emotionally...that the connection we should have had mentally...never came to be...my entire being mourns...
1112a...from my eyes fall raindrops...the circus music never stops...i shout ur name from mountaintops...my soul bleeds little chocolate drops
1151a...it's like reading a book w/ no title...no plot...no direction...how do u follow the story when ur making it up as u go along?..
1205p...even when i'm standing in front of the world w/ a smile on my face..b/c u know my soul...u hear me screaming on the inside...
157p...if i didn't say goodbye when i left...would u even realize i was gone?..
5.06.2004
Playing in the Park
ok...so i'm in the park yesterday...and i was REALLY feeling the vibe...nice weather...great music...beautiful black ppl EVERYWHERE...i had a ball window shopping, flirting and just hanging out...
it's funny, but whenever i go to centennial park for an event...i run into my former booty buddy...he was looking fine as usual...we spent a few minutes complementing each other, making small talk...then i went on my way...
how shocked was i when my phone rang last night and it was buddy....trying to get an invite to my crib...
it's crazy b/c he and i haven't been together like that in at least two years, if not more....it was flattering...in a way...but...i turned down his offer...not only b/c of nick...but b/c i knew that i wanted more from buddy than just sex...don't get me wrong...it was very good sex, but...i had begun to want more from him than good sex and had come to a point in my life where i wanted to move past that kind of relationship...
and i told him just that...he responded that he could see more happening between us...i ended up telling him that i feel like were just one of those things that probably could happen beautifully because we have the potential to be VERY good together...
he is a successful real estate broker, 30something, never married, no kids, well traveled, outgoing, tall enough, educated, cultured, fine as hell, handsome, great personality, i mean really...a total package...
but b/c of the timing issues that we've always had...it's probably just not meant to be...and because of that, our best move would be to maintain a simple friendship and leave all that physical past in the past...
i also ran into the distinguished older gentlman that i dated briefly a few years back...he was all over me, telling me about this multi-million dollar contract that he has been awarded and that he really has been meaning to call me b/c he's been thinking about me a lot lately...
yeah, right...i mean really...
he and i spent quite a bit of time together over about six months more than four years ago...and i used to tell him that he was more involved in serving the constituents than he was in developing our relationship...which i couldn't be mad...i just needed him to make our relationship a priority and for whatever reason, he couldn't or wouldn't...
a few month back, he and i talked...he has a very different take on things...he told me that he had been totally crazy about me and never knew how i felt about him and didn't think that i was emotionally into him...
oh, well...it seems that w/ both of these guys...we were never on the same page at the same time...sometimes, i was certain that we were not even reading from the same book...
and that okay, because sometimes that's just the way things happen....
can't wait to see what adventures i find the next time i am playing in the park...
it's funny, but whenever i go to centennial park for an event...i run into my former booty buddy...he was looking fine as usual...we spent a few minutes complementing each other, making small talk...then i went on my way...
how shocked was i when my phone rang last night and it was buddy....trying to get an invite to my crib...
it's crazy b/c he and i haven't been together like that in at least two years, if not more....it was flattering...in a way...but...i turned down his offer...not only b/c of nick...but b/c i knew that i wanted more from buddy than just sex...don't get me wrong...it was very good sex, but...i had begun to want more from him than good sex and had come to a point in my life where i wanted to move past that kind of relationship...
and i told him just that...he responded that he could see more happening between us...i ended up telling him that i feel like were just one of those things that probably could happen beautifully because we have the potential to be VERY good together...
he is a successful real estate broker, 30something, never married, no kids, well traveled, outgoing, tall enough, educated, cultured, fine as hell, handsome, great personality, i mean really...a total package...
but b/c of the timing issues that we've always had...it's probably just not meant to be...and because of that, our best move would be to maintain a simple friendship and leave all that physical past in the past...
i also ran into the distinguished older gentlman that i dated briefly a few years back...he was all over me, telling me about this multi-million dollar contract that he has been awarded and that he really has been meaning to call me b/c he's been thinking about me a lot lately...
yeah, right...i mean really...
he and i spent quite a bit of time together over about six months more than four years ago...and i used to tell him that he was more involved in serving the constituents than he was in developing our relationship...which i couldn't be mad...i just needed him to make our relationship a priority and for whatever reason, he couldn't or wouldn't...
a few month back, he and i talked...he has a very different take on things...he told me that he had been totally crazy about me and never knew how i felt about him and didn't think that i was emotionally into him...
oh, well...it seems that w/ both of these guys...we were never on the same page at the same time...sometimes, i was certain that we were not even reading from the same book...
and that okay, because sometimes that's just the way things happen....
can't wait to see what adventures i find the next time i am playing in the park...
WHY am i not sleeping?
i really should be sleeping...
i mean come on...it's damn near 1am...if i don't take my ass to sleep soon...i will NOT be going to work in the morning...
so why am i not sleeping?...
i'll have to get into the details later...but i was thinking and i wanted to put a few thoughts down while i was not sleeping...
are you getting the point that i think i should be sleeping???
oh...i'm losing track...centennial park this evening...can u say OFF DA CHAIN???
for those of u that missed it...a real big OMMFGod...carrington...suga...joji...me...and i were all there...it was cool to hang out w/ my bfam...
i was reminded again...how hard it can be to stay faithful in the ATL...the options are limitless...my beautiful black ppl were out in full force...and my awesome black brothers were repping to the fullest...god knows i love our black men...i really do...teddy calls me a pimp...i tell him that i just have a healthy appreciation for the opposite sex...
but i will finish later...the mailman is coming...
i mean come on...it's damn near 1am...if i don't take my ass to sleep soon...i will NOT be going to work in the morning...
so why am i not sleeping?...
i'll have to get into the details later...but i was thinking and i wanted to put a few thoughts down while i was not sleeping...
are you getting the point that i think i should be sleeping???
oh...i'm losing track...centennial park this evening...can u say OFF DA CHAIN???
for those of u that missed it...a real big OMMFGod...carrington...suga...joji...me...and i were all there...it was cool to hang out w/ my bfam...
i was reminded again...how hard it can be to stay faithful in the ATL...the options are limitless...my beautiful black ppl were out in full force...and my awesome black brothers were repping to the fullest...god knows i love our black men...i really do...teddy calls me a pimp...i tell him that i just have a healthy appreciation for the opposite sex...
but i will finish later...the mailman is coming...
5.05.2004
About Time
okay...so i haven't blogged in over a month...i've been so caught up in what goes on in mia's world that i haven't been paying attention...today...wise diva commented on my blog...and i decided that i'd better get my ass over hear and add something that someone MIGHT want to read....here goes a few thoughts for today...
i've been babysitting regularly for the last couple of weeks...two adorable little girls...4 and 7...usually they are cool kids...but last night...their little Bhinds got on my last nerve...nick asked me if i still wanted kids when i got done...my response...of course, just not those two...
i love my sisters...i love my brothers...but WHY, LAWD WHY do they always turn to me when $#!+ goes wrong in their lives?... and WHY are their lives so crappy b/c of their bad decision making?...b/c of that...i don't dare set a foot wrong...if i screwed up something in my life and needed their help...i would be left hanging..ass out...go figure...
the lipo...definitely getting it done...nick says i don't need it...but that if i am determined to get it...then he will support me...he says that i am fine like i am...then i find out that his last gf was a size 18 (don't ask me how that came up in the conversation)...shi-it...compared to that...i'm damn near a stick figure...
i'm re-committing myself to blogging regularly...can you re-commit to something?.. i mean really...if u have to REcommit...were u ever really committed in the first place?...
just a few thoughts...
i've been babysitting regularly for the last couple of weeks...two adorable little girls...4 and 7...usually they are cool kids...but last night...their little Bhinds got on my last nerve...nick asked me if i still wanted kids when i got done...my response...of course, just not those two...
i love my sisters...i love my brothers...but WHY, LAWD WHY do they always turn to me when $#!+ goes wrong in their lives?... and WHY are their lives so crappy b/c of their bad decision making?...b/c of that...i don't dare set a foot wrong...if i screwed up something in my life and needed their help...i would be left hanging..ass out...go figure...
the lipo...definitely getting it done...nick says i don't need it...but that if i am determined to get it...then he will support me...he says that i am fine like i am...then i find out that his last gf was a size 18 (don't ask me how that came up in the conversation)...shi-it...compared to that...i'm damn near a stick figure...
i'm re-committing myself to blogging regularly...can you re-commit to something?.. i mean really...if u have to REcommit...were u ever really committed in the first place?...
just a few thoughts...
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